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Do you ever wonder what it is that you live for? Do you live merely to exist, or is there something, or even someone else that casuses you to get up and keep going each morning?

I am so terribly competitive, if i do not believe i can win, i will not enter. If i cannot dominate, i will not participate. The problem is (yes, there's a problem...It wouldnt be a melmel journal entry if there wasn't!) I am not good at anything. Oh, well, i shouldnt say that, i am just above average or average (...)

We each have our own views of death. Mine is a little jumbled. For the first time I really experienced the burial part of things last January when we buried Grandma Moody. I cannot believe that it costs so much to put bones in the ground! I donít think itís necessary to spend so much money on a nice casket, a nice tombstone/headstone, a plot in the nicest cemetery, so you can have a showy funeral. Tens of thousands of dollars of your hard-earned money are spent for storage on your (...)

We all long to have people in our lives that we can trust communicate with and share experiences. Whether that is in a companion, a friend or an acquaintance. In order to have a successful balanced life I think that we need people in all of these areas. Balancing these relationships can be difficult. Sometimes we have to forget about our own needs or wants to be able to compromise. This can be difficult because by nature we are selfish beings.

I think that if you set out each day (...)

Since I last posted, I have had a relapse,I don't know why I did it,and i'm not sure why I am not stopping it right now, but it seems apparent to me and everyone around me that I am not.

I knew I couldn't change, it just isn't within my reach or grasp to be anybody else, to live any other life,happiness doesn't suit me,it just hangs around above my head and seems like a pointless state of being, one that needs extreme maintainance to remain constant,just to be happy is such a shore, my life (...)

What do you say to the guy you like when he's moving away?

Two weeks of school, and on the last day I have to see him drive off and leave me here. He SUSPECTS that I have feelings for him, but he's not for sure. I dare not tell him, some of you know what happened last time. I shant even say the L-word about this guy. He knows exactly what to say, and what to do when I'm down, and he protects what he believes in with his heart, and ocassionally his fists... I am still falling for him (...)

So often we hear people talking about their "soul mate" their "perfect match". After some careful review of my past I have come to the conclusion that my ideal soul mate has changed for different periods of my life. What I mean by that is... wherever I am in life; there is an ideal person for me at that time. If that person changes, as we all continually will do, then they may move out of the role of my soul mate. Same as if I change. I think that both parties involved have to have had (...)


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