Skip to content | Skip to navigation
Apr 27, 2004 22:47 # 21989
I have been with my boyfriend for 8 months and we have lived together for the last 2 months. He asked me to come live with him. I re-located to his city and his home.
Things have been great. We have had our squabbles here and there, nothing out of the ordinary.
I am totally in love with him and I feel in my heart that he feels the same way. The problem is that I am a coward and afraid to tell him. I am wondering if he is having the same problem. My friends tell me that the guy should always be the one to say it first. I need to know what you think. I feel that I need to tell him how I feel but of coarse there is always that fear of rejection.
Guys.....any advice on this?
Apr 28, 2004 00:51 # 21994
Now, I'm younger than you, but as a guy about to be in these situations, here's my spin on things, for what it matters:
My friends tell me that the guy should always be the one to say it first
Thats fine and dandy, but you should take into account, those are separate rules not everyone lives by. He may have a view that "I Love You" is a powerful set of words (that is what I feel) that should be used when you really need to, not just to win a womans heart or get in her bed. So, he may not live by those rules. I'm willing to bet large sums of money that if he hasn't said it, and he truly does feel passionately, all you have to do is "prime" him. I bet if you start it by saying it first, he is definately going to follow. Some guys (like myself) have to get started. But, I may be wrong on this.
I feel that I need to tell him how I feel but of coarse there is always that fear of rejection.
Tell him. I figure, if he asked you to move in and his main objective was not sex or someone to cook for him, I'm betting the inate human fear of rejection is pointless in this case. But you'll never know until you try.
Sorry if I missed it, but thought I'd throw in my two cents worth.
May 14, 2004 04:07 # 22365
Never be afraid to tell someone something you want them to hear, that lays heavy on your heart. It can never be wrong to share anything from your heart.
Telling your boyfriend that you love him for the first time is relaying to him that you are in love with him. And when you admit to being in love with someone, you are shifting your relationship into a very serious mode. You are letting that person know how committed you truly are.
Just remember, just becuase you say "I love you", you can't be expecting for him to say it back. He may not be ready. You shouldn't say something just to hear it yourself.
I think it's a wonderful thing when you can express this to someone. Don't worry who should say it first. It's not about that. It's about letting the man you're in love with hear that you're in love with him.
When you'll ready... you'll say it. You won't even think about it. It will probally be one of the most casual conversations in your life, and you'll wonder why you dwelled on it so much. Embrace it. You'll never get that moment back. But, don't rush it either, it'll come.
"Smile, what's the use of crying? You'll find that life is still worthwhile If you'll just smile."