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Dear Dumb Ass,
I wanted to write and sincerely thank you for continually parking your friend's vehicles so close to my garage, that the result is my life being a tad bit more stressed. I would knock on your door. No that is a lie; I would just knock out your teeth. You've done this for so long that now I think you do it on purpose.
Obviously you know that we both live in condominiums, and all our garages are in the rear of the units. I wonder how you possibly miss the numerous letters that state; 'Parking IS NOT allowed in the car port area, violators will be towed. Visitors park on the street.' Maybe it is because your parents pay all the bills for your rich ass. Or you skipped the day at school where they taught everyone how to read. Whatever the reason, you still block my garage. No lessons for me on maneuverability now, because I practice avoiding your friend's vehicles almost every single morning and evening. My patience is wearing extremely thin. I work six days a week, and my position is totally physical. I am tired when I come home. My tolerance for this particular issue is about to expire. I look forward to kicking your ass.
You know nothing about me, so let do the honor and enlighten you. I came from a rough background and for years my escape was prizefight training. Basically, I have a Degree in Ass Kicking, and it looks like you might be next contestant on Who Gets A Beat Down. What kind of inconsiderate prick am I dealing with here? Are you that oblivious in knowing other people live in the condominium units next to you? Or are you blinded by your overly worn ME fragrance?
Well, tell you what I am going to do if this continues and our property management company doesn't correct the little retarded neighbor. I will first park my vehicle in front of your garage. How do you feel about that punk? Oh and yeah, if you touch my car, I will skip counting to ten, and just kick your ignorant ass. Next, if you continue to block my garage after my first lesson…Well I will resort to a primal state and open I big fat can of Whoop Ass..Believe me I will save enough and bring my friends if your associates want some too. My buddy’s thoroughly enjoy these moments if in fact this personal one occurs. Yes, let the truth be told, I will savor it also.
Until then Dumb Ass,
Your Frustrated Neighbor
As history shows us, it has always been Aces over Kings
This post was edited by havananights on Jul 28, 2004.