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I'm not an incredibly clumsy person .. but actually rather graceful when no one has their eyes on me .. but the minute they turn their heads my way, I turn into the biggest clutz.
I was at the library and needed some reference books for my art history project (know that these books are incredibly heavy). I had a cup of hot steaming coffee in one hand and found 3 books that were perfect for my project...
I saw my direct enemy (Angela) ahead of me (She competes the heck out of me when it comes to projects and will compete to a f*cking fraction of a point) So obviously - I dont want her to get these books and rather be totally selfish and have them to myself..
I some how manage to carry 3 one kilo books horizontally in one hand and my hot cuppa coffee in the other... As I was walking I tripped over the carpet but twirled the books and miraculously held my cup of coffe without spilling a drop.. I stand up straight grinning like an idiot, looking around to see if some one saw me in my awesomely cool balancing act.. I look at Angela to see if she got a glimpse of me in my matrix move but she had just looked up at me to see me grinning like a fool..
So obviously she hadnt so I turn around quickly not wanting to look stupid and walk straight into the book shelve dripping my coffee on my *white* shirt - I let out a shriek - drop the books ... and... well.... I dont have to tell you the rest, do I?
Please... tell me I'm not the only one out there who has these crappy moments...
*insert something profound/witty/humorous here*
I, too, am extremely graceful when nobody is looking. If i trip on the dance floor, I can turn it into a dance move.....If i start to drop something, I can catch it mid-fall and continue with whatever I am doing without event.... but as soon as I get around my boyfriend or other people, I turn pineapple upside-down cake into pineapple right-side up lap cake. I spill entire 32 ounce sodas across freshly waxed shopping mall floors. I back into displays of books at my store and destroy the perfectly balanced creations.Piles of lemons spontaneously avalanche as I walk by them in grocery stores. My boyfriend is afraid for his physical and mental well-being. The general public has been warned to walk slightly to the side or ahead of me when I am seen carrying a beverage. People follow me with towels, brooms, and dust pans. BUT, because I know that occassions of gracelessness will occur while I am around others I do not react in any other way than to clean up my mess, and carry on. It's part of being me. I am a walking accident. If you react as if you are embarassed of your clumsiness, others will follow suit with the pointing and snickering and throwing of citris fruits, but if you carry on as if "oh, look what i did...I will make this right and forget it happened" then you can look at them blankly with a "yes, i dropped the platter of caviar, so what?" if they draw unnecessary attention to your faux pas. I don't know if that makes me the bigger person, but it sure makes me feel better.
I am just me, searching for simplicity.........and a good hair stylist
See, I'm a bit different. I can get clumsy, but my stumbling is usually on the keys. When someone who I am trying to impress with my prowess is nearby, I lose focus and become a total n00b. I can't think, and I become like one of those hapless anti geeks, without any particular speed or elegance. I'm a cyber clutz...
I should be ashamed of myself.