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It's Sunday night and I'm spending some quite time here, trying to unwind the corkscrews in my brain.
It usually takes a few hours after the weekend of busting chops to plow through the mountian of work that's always waiting.
The mountian will never get done.
It was cold out this morning and I'm looking forward to a more consistant weather pattern. I want so bad to have a huge bon fire where we can be a lot tribal and watch the night sky.
Alot of people at work are as frustrated as I am. Several are doing what I started doing, looking for a new job.
One person who watches alot of things asked me how many hours I get, and when I told her she replied "and they expect you to do all this stuff?"
"yeah" was my reply.
"That's nuts" was her reply. It was nice to be validated in that area.
Makes me feel a little less crazy and not so guilty when I'm moving in a little slower manner to finish something that requires some extra time.
I made some tomato cheese toast when I got home and put some garlic sauce on top. It was yummy. As I ate it, there was a flow of requests that I join everyone in the front room....I stayed in the kitchen. I wanted some quite time.
So many people wanting all the time....and there are so many times I want to lay my head down and have someone just take care of me for a little while.
I don't want to do or say anything or fix anything or make anything alright.
I just want someone to pat my head and let me fall asleep.
I feel like the rock that keeps the dam from bursting at the seams sometimes.
If I could be a four leaf clover for a little white,
and just sit in the sun, vanished in a field
it would be awesome.
Or a pebble on the sand next to the ocean, non discript and let the edge of the waves just wash over me, it would be awesome.
I guess I'm just way over tired tonight. Just like a lot of other nights.
Sleep well everyone.