Reading What Sucks

Jul 02, 2006 00:54 # 43210

Anuxuamen * tells about...

Caught ya!

74% | 2

My younger sister is an expecting mother, the problem is that she is only 17. Although I respect the miracle of childbirth and the beauty of pregnancy, I find myself dreading this. Anyways I had been away for quite awhile so I decided to go home and visit. To celebrate my return my friends and I went out and caught a movie. As we sat there enjoying the perfectly entertaining film ,my view was suddenly obstructed by a couple.
I stood up to switch seats andI thought I recognized the man in front of me. In fact I did, it was Josh, my sister's boyfriend, on a date with another woman. And me being the overprotective sister that I am had to be dragged out of the theater. I have never liked the guy and I sure as heck didn't like his relationship with my sister,and nothing would make me happier than to hurt him severely. However, I have to think about my sister, so do I tell her that her baby's father is cheating on her and break her heart or do I let it go? That's what sucks guys, right there plain and simple.

And this you can know - fear the time when Manself will not suffer and die for a concept, for this o

Jul 02, 2006 22:36 # 43214

k9lionheart * has a suggestion...

Re: Caught ya!

?% | 1

I read your post and being a guy felt like I should definitly respond. While some people may not share my opinion on this matter, I feel that your sister has a right to know what is going on with her boyfriend. I mean if she is serriously going to have this baby, she is going to need all the support she can get, and I don't see how her boyfriend, who should be one of the most supportive of all, can be there for her and be encouraging to her when he is fooling around with other women. I know it wouldn't be easy for you to tell her. After all you are her big sister and don't want to break her heart and stuff, but its something she has to know. If you don't tell her, true her heart won't be broken, but she also would be under the false impression that her boyfriend is complety faithful to her. In short, my advice is to tell your sister exactly what you saw.

Jul 03, 2006 03:47 # 43217

Anuxuamen * replies...

Re: Caught ya!

Thank you for the advice. After iwrote this post i felt that she needed to know, so I told her. The only problem is that she doesn't believe me and is content on giving him the benefit of the doubt. Now she won't talk to me and is furious with the idea that I would make something like that up. I have no idea what to do . All I can say is that I tried. Oh and after I caught him he proposed just to cover his ass ( pardon the language please) . I don't know . Sometimes I just want to kick him.

And this you can know - fear the time when Manself will not suffer and die for a concept, for this o

Jul 03, 2006 13:19 # 43220

Hawkeye *** replies...

Re: Caught ya!

?% | 1

What loyalty would you serve to that guy? He has proven himself nothing but a pain in the ass for your sister (at best). Would she be happy with a boyfriend that cheats on her? Most likely not. Call me an idealist, but I think you were right in telling her.

Though, now you have another problem. If she refuses to believe you, you must act according to what you think she'd do with that knowledge if she did. If she knew, would she dump him in a heartbeat or would she forgive him?

If she would forgive him, you must let it be, because forcing this idea down her throat will only cause her pain. And in the end, she would have prefered to live in ignorance of it anyway.
On the other hand, would she break up with him?

If so, then maybe you can be a good sister without making her hate you. My advice would be to confont the boyfriend and make him break up with your sister. Just be ready to seriously help her out in her time of need. She needs people who she can depend on. Ellongating something that will be 99% likely to end in disaster will only hurt your sister more.

If the world should blow itself up,the last audible voice would be an expert saying it can't be done

Jul 04, 2006 04:04 # 43222

Anuxuamen * replies...

Re: Caught ya!

Thank you. I do believe that she would forgive him just to preserve the idea that her daughter's father is a good man. I am afraid that after they are married he will hurt her and I don't want to see that happen. Though I have come to terms with the fact that there isn't anything I can do but wait with open arms. He has no loyalty to anything or anyone ,if only she could see that.

And this you can know - fear the time when Manself will not suffer and die for a concept, for this o

This post was edited by Anuxuamen on Jul 04, 2006.

Jul 06, 2006 13:04 # 43243

WASABI *** throws in his two cents...

Re: Caught ya!

?% | 1

You told her. You did all you can. It is her right not to believe you, and you can do nothing about it.

Hopefully, someday she will understand.

On a side note, I will never understand why people do things like that. A friend of mine tells me "being with a girl does not mean I can have the urging to have sex with other girl; so should I resist my urges?". Well, no. The point is, I think people got it all wrong. I don't stop being with other girls just because I have a girlfriend -- things are the other way around: I stay with my girlfriend because she's the only one I want to be with (and if this changes, well, then I deal with it, in a honest and straightforward way).

:wq

Jul 06, 2006 19:44 # 43250

Anuxuamen * replies...

Re: Caught ya!

Yes I did. I wash my hands of it. I am happy to hear that at least one man has the decency to be honest. I beleive that if cannot be honest with a person in all things you should not be with that person.

And this you can know - fear the time when Manself will not suffer and die for a concept, for this o

Aug 04, 2006 14:34 # 43313

zen *** replies...

Re: Caught ya!

?% | 1

When I read the original post, all I could think of is that she won't really care. She'll stay with him.
Then I read your response, and it was confirmed. It's a pity, but I think girls/females often can't see the forest for the trees. They'll stay with a guy that beats them, despite how much whining and crying that they might do about how bad the guy is. Why is that? She will marry a guy that makes her feel shitty, and think she can "change him." Why?
Most, if not all guys don't understand women, and here's a perfect example of why it's impossible for a guy to understand the mind of a woman/girl.

Despite the fact that he did/is cheating on her, and she may trust you, the only way she'll change her mind is if she finds out for herself, and actually catches him. That may not entirely be possible, even if it happens cause she just doesn't want to believe that someone she "loves" would be unfaithful to her.

I think that "love" means different things to different people. Love for some people really means hope, and faith, rather than something more tangible like committment.

In the end, there's little you can tell her, and anything that is true that goes against her fairly tale romance (especially now that she's preggers) will come across like treason, and she'll hate you for bringing "real life" into the picture. Even if you had a picture she wouldn't believe it.
Either you try to protect you sister, and do the right thing, and give her what she needs, or you give he what she wants and stand by and do nothing. Either way, there's no happy middle-ground.
It's messy. I don't envy you.

Once Fred Neitszche declared God is Dead, f*ck became the most important word in the English languag

This post was edited by zen on Aug 04, 2006.


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