Reading Funny Stuff

Jul 23, 2007 08:41 # 44816

null has all the information you need...

What the internet is all about

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When I'm doing the stuff I need to do in order to keep my bank happy, I do so at a company that develops a system for information classification, i.e. software that, among other things, can extract the meaning from a text document and reduce it to a few descriptive keywords.

When you process the result pages of a Google search for "internet", this is what the system comes up with - red means "most similarity to the documents' core statement(s)":

Computers don't lie or make stuff up. Thus we can conclude with absolute certainty that the internet is based on scammers, gerbil pr0n and 4chan.
(But it's not like we didn't know that before...)

When life hands you a lemon, that's 40% of your RDA of vitamin C taken care of.

This post was edited by null on Jul 23, 2007.

Aug 09, 2007 22:01 # 44843

Salvial_Ten *** replies...

Re: What the internet is all about

Computers don't lie or make stuff up. Thus we can conclude with absolute certainty that the internet is based on scammers, gerbil pr0n and 4chan.

This is true. But I think an even more simple conclusion from the red list is:

Internet: The Serious Business =D

--Jami Yeah, that's gonna sting in the morning.

Sep 23, 2007 13:48 # 44947

yoshi314 * replies...

Re: What the internet is all about

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I already thought that the answer would be pr0n :).

But it seems reality is much worse than that :/

"Life is a queue. You come in, hang around for a bit, get some service, then depart."

Mar 28, 2008 01:54 # 45626

harold_maude *** replies...

Re: What the internet is all about

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Gerbal porn...immagine gerbal porn..it makes me giggle thinking about it. I wonder what the dialogue would be like.
It might go something like this:
Chirp, sniff, chomp chirp.

As I have no idea what gerbals say durring porn I have to substute here.

And here's my translation to the above:

Hi. I'm a gerbal. wanna do it?
Sure. I'm a gerbal too. Are we done yet? :)

Apr 02, 2008 17:39 # 45660

Hawkeye *** replies...

Re: What the internet is all about

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And so all the Barry White music would be played in fast forward or would be replaced with the squeeky voice from Alvin and the chipmunks.

Hard to be sexy when you're covered in fur and contemplating whether or not you should jump back in the hamster wheel for a little while.

;)

If the world should blow itself up,the last audible voice would be an expert saying it can't be done

Jan 22, 2009 16:52 # 46202

zen *** replies...

Re: What the internet is all about

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I don't know if this is more funny than sad.

Computers don't lie or make stuff up.

That is true. The Internet, is simply a collection of computers sharing information. Some store information, some request information, but none will do more than a user will tell it to do. Inherently, the Internet is no more or less dangerous than a park, or beach, or other public area.

Thus we can conclude with absolute certainty that the internet is based on scammers, gerbil pr0n and 4chan.
(But it's not like we didn't know that before...)

Like guns don't kill people, only people kill people, the internet does no harm. But currently it is now perceived in the terms you've outlined. The internet has been reduced to its least common denominator: sex; and the other common denominator of: virus. Like having physical congress unprotected, electronic intercourse is the same way.
But the issues is always motivation, when talking about peoples. Isn't it important to get our girbil pr0n in a timely, efficient manner, where to no stop in the action?
Scammers are there, pr0nographers are there because there's a seemingly never-ending supply of suckers.

Once Fred Neitszche declared God is Dead, f*ck became the most important word in the English languag

This post was edited by zen on Jan 22, 2009.

Jan 23, 2009 08:13 # 46209

null throws in his two cents...

Re: What the internet is all about

there's a seemingly never-ending supply of suckers.

Ahahah, I don't believe it's possible to sum up the state of this planet in less or better words. You, sir, have once more demonstrated that you indeed are a gifted writer.

When life hands you a lemon, that's 40% of your RDA of vitamin C taken care of.


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