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Work had been the usual, just me doing my best to look like I was doing my best. Nothing terribly exciting had happened that day, to my knowledge. I had heard about a tragedy that had occurred elsewhere, but within my lifespace (Omaha, and the surrounding area)... so it was semi-relavent. Some psycho went on a rampage and gunned down 9 people.
Whatever. People I don't know die all the time.
This was the attitude I was forced to take on many issues. Whatever, it doesn't bother me because it doesn't change my future or near future decisions any. There's nothing I can do about it, just move on. Nothing to see here.
Life was enough for me. I was working two jobs trying to get my head above water and below radar. I live in somebody's basement because it's all I can afford right now. I've got enough shit on my plate.
The day neared it's end for my first job. Entering the dressing room it was the normal chit chattery of my co workers. Then the shooter came up...
"I don't know anybody that would shop at Von Maur, thank god." I said in response to the issue.
"I don't know anybody that COULD shop at Von Maur."
"Heh... I sure do. Especially this time of year." A co worker responded.
"Yeah, I guess you're right."
But I held my view on the issue. It's not my problem... nobody I know would be involved. Strangers. But at around seven that evening at my second job... I got a phone call from my father that brought this conversation back into the forefront of my mind. This past two weeks god has seen fit to show me his ironic side, his darker side.
My dad was calling. He knew better. He works here too, answering your phone is taboo! I answered not giving a shit, I'm a temp worker and the night shift supervisor is a level headed human guy.
"Hey Jay, I was watching the news... you know that shooting?"
"Yeah, what about it." I still didn't care.
"Guess who the shooter was! Robbie Hawkins, he was one of your old running buddies, wasn't he?"
Wait, what? My childhood best friend gunned down 14 people in a shopping center with an SK-47 because he was a "burden to his family"? A kid I spent countless days playing with? A kid that I slept over with, my next door neighbor and first friend made when I moved to the states (at least at the house we bought)?
Strangers I knew once upon a time. An atrocity was committed by a old and dear friend of mine. He ruined families, and killed seemingly innocent people for selfish reasons. But Merry Chistmas, Robbie. I knew you when we were kids, when WE were innocent. We've both hurt people. We've both burdened our families, but once upon a time, we were both innocent children playing army men in your sandbox and playing computer games in my basement.
Once upon a time, we weren't strangers. And I wish you a merry chistmas, Robbie. I've prayed for your soul every day this week, I'll miss you, and I mourn for you, your sin, and your pain.
God have mercy on those taken, including Robert Hawkins.
I should be ashamed of myself.
Here are some news links.
I should be ashamed of myself.
This post was edited by Aynjell on Dec 08, 2007.