Reading zen's journal

Jan 07, 2013 22:46 # 47388

zen *** tells about...

2012Dec29-31, 2013Jan01. Arrival

29th Dec. 2012: :2345hrs
...may still have typos in it...

Arrival. It's the impending chaostrophy, upon us.
I gave up drinking almost a year ago. Haven't missed it the majority of that time. Occasionally, like today, I have a slight pang in my gut for it. At I Heart Mexico, the Mexican restaraunt down the road, eating at the bar, with all the pretty bottle lit so nicely behind them, and of course, I'm going to be thinking about it.
We're supposed to be getting 4-6" of snow tonight. I think we;re over that minimun, barrelling for the 6, without any sign it's cuttin down any time soon. I'm not riding my bike in this I wisely, I think, decide. I'm sure I'm not missing much, because who else, after all, is risking their life these conditions, just for a blowjob, or whatever? No most, I'm thinking.

It's the next day and still an angrey sky out there. still snowing, wind blowing.
The plows have been attacking the streets of their snoow all night. They finally got to our street. Well have to see if our driveway got plowed back in again.
I'm listening to The Crystal Method, because i like some songs, but it seems fitting indeed to hear the beats droning on.

True Grit. 6:15am.30th December
Failure as a person? ...not remembering the lyrics when I went to sing with Dannie A(rrico).
Dannie is a very talented entertainer who works at nights doing the "Piano Man" routine, revolving in the local gay watering holes circuit, as his second gig. His first gig is working in dmv, somewhere, in an office. He, like most I know working in an office, have back problems--usually with the lower, because of the poor posture that office furniture invites. Plus (and not that I'd ever say such to him, but) he's carrying a "few" more pounds than he should. This logically follows the office worker's lack of mobility and movement, but I completely digress. The point I was going to is that I like Dannie alot, even though I'm not thinking of starting anything with him. To be sure, Dannie would love me to start a relationship, well deeper relationship with me. I think most of that is physical.
Not to be (too) vain, but I'm a fairly attractive person, at least I'm told that often enough. I embody alot of "masculine" qualities that alot of guys really like; I'm physically big, am very handy with tools, and fixing things, am out-wardly "str8" acting. I grew-up around straight (as far as I knew) guys, so I always just picked-up those characteristics...don't stand out kinda thing; but then again, I couldn't imagine another way that I would be, given a choice.
Regardless, there's a spark of some sort there, because I'm willing to also give him massages to workout the kinks in his back. I am talented with my hands and fingers, when it comes to a good working knowledge of anatomy and muscles, which I use when I'm rubbing someone's back, and neck; especially neck problems too, because the office slouch encourages drooping one's head so it just hangs there, rather than is supported by the spinal column. So I try to work-out these issues when I'm rubbing, and massaging him. This makes me even more golden.
Being a Friday night (the other night), Dannie was performing on his little portable keyboard set-up, which is actually pretty nice, for a one-person gig. So it's his last night performing here at the Pvd Eagle, at least for a while.
The club is moving to a new location, it's going to be a while before it's reopen. So this night right here is like one of the fabulous last nights of "Rome", one of the last hold-out of the "old city". This place his been operating here in this current location for like 30 years.But it, like everything in this state, which was built on shifting sands--a swamp basically, is changing or going away, and becomes part of where it all "used to be."
It's last call for drinks, last call for singing. I decide to be ballsy, and sing a song I've been trying to learn: "Leaving on a Jet Plane," Originally be Peter, Paul and Mary. I think that, somehow, magically, he's got the lyrics, and of course he doesn't. So I hafta wing it. I'm somewhat high, and very nervous up there, even though noone's particularly watching us, or me, actually.
Dannie is beleguered by folks like me. In this job, and his regular one, to be sure--basically, folks who just aren't prepared. I start singing, nothing comes to mind. All my practicing, nont apparent. Allison, gf of one of the former bartenders, Andrew, is there, and she's a great help, but has to sit down unavailed, eventually, sighing out, "he doesn't know the words."
Ugh. I sit down early. Not the most memorable way to end Dannie's career at the (former) Eagle. But I'm not necessarily embarrased for him. He played, and did his part marvelously. I'm embarrased for myself, and especially because I think Allison's cute, and didn't want to embarrass myself, here, like this, and is exactly what happened.

5:48pm. Missing my IBM laptop, something fierce!!!!
These Gatways are terrible, even with an addition of another bar of memory to a whopping 512MB of pc266 ramm. Ugh! The IBMs have that little red clown nose joystick, which is a wonderful thing, because it is only on when you move the nose. These touchpads are aweful, jumpy and keeps moving the cursor all over the place. It's maddening. I can't turn it off. I hate bad engineering.
So it's stopped snowing. We got about 5 inches. It's fairly hefty. I helped a few people with some shovelling, but put it this way, I'm not getting rich doing it. I ask for a cofffee as payment. At the local bistro, Zog's, is a decent enough place year-round, whenever let me use unlimitedc internet if i needed. So I helped with ice removal as only a 38 year veteran of removing snow, ice, digging out cars, trucks, atvs, from snow. So for me, farm boy basically, all these tiny plots here are nothing, compared to what I'm used to. Especially with the right tool, it makes the job fabulously easy *giggles* at least for me ;-D
...get busy chile'
...switching from Garbage Version 2.0
....back to The Crystal Method
The little plot in front of Zog's is the same size as the rest of the crowded businesses, which is to say small. People had been walking all night, compacting it into ice. So now there's like 8, 9 feet of sheer ice. The lady who owns the antique store next door have a roofer's tool, with a long handle usually used at ripping-up shingles when reroofing. Wise choice madam. I make mince of it whith relative ease. 9, 10, 12-20 feet by a couple people abrest, and you have it, presto, a walkway of solid concrete in a New England winter. Picturesque, whee~, shovelling sucks, period. lol it's the comraderie it builds, like veterans of a war.

8:45pm. Supposed to meet my friend Josh in a little bit, around 10:30. I have to start getting ready for that. I need to go to the D&D, right next door, to use their wifi. Actually, it's not quite next door. There's a huge 16 story building inbetween us. Ill pick this up on the other side...

01Jan 7:22PM. Well, it's been over 24-hours, and never got to D&D for internet as I'd wanted. I met Josh the other day, and then last night. He was with his boyfriend. I was with my best friend, who also happens to be my soul mate I think, Lauren. I think the world of her, and try my best in all things for her. We, unfortunately don't see enough of each other.
It's too cold. Even here inside with a heater going, it's just oo cold to work. I'm going back to bed.

02jan13.6:31am. Its still cold, yet warming. I'm getting ready for my meeting this morning. It starts at 7am. Its my home group. I love going there because of its location that one gets to see the sun rise. Its overall a great way to start my day. I'm waiting to hear back from my friend if she can give me a ride. She likes the meeting too. If not, I'm going to have to ride my bike, and as previously stated, it's cold outside.
time to close the laptop...

Once Fred Neitszche declared God is Dead, f*ck became the most important word in the English languag

This post was edited by zen on Jan 07, 2013.


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