Reading Love and Lifesense

Mar 05, 2003 06:12 # 9201

khazar * tells about...

Love Letter

100% | 6

To a girl I care about very much:

"When I met you, I was lost, in a way. Every day, I would wake up, swim, go home and lounge around pointlessly. In the evenings I would force myself out of the house, to run. Sometimes ascend the highest hills on this side of the valley. Sometimes in fog or semi-dusk. I did pointless things, feeling only their pointlessness and the sense that there had been something vital to life that was now missing. I cut my hair, wanting a change, but only ended up disliking the new look. I dreamed - things did not have to be this blank. They did not have to move from day to day without a meaning. I could meet a girl around the next bend in the road or at the silent speck of light on the distant ridge - dark hair and fair skin - someone who cared. There could have been more in life - more at the summit, more in the valley, more in the black wildernesses of the soul.
"That was me, over half a year ago.
"I liked you from the first time I met you. I don't know how to put it, but there is something in the eyes, or the bearing or manner, of a person like you that is very attractive - a small something signaling that you are a nice person. Completely aside from the fact that you were and are beautiful.
I went out for pizza that night only to see more of you. I wanted to get to know you (to put it mildly). Talked with you, but you seemed more interested in another guy I know, who seemed like an old friend of yours. Never expected to see you again after that night, but you put in appearances at other swim meets. You never seemed all that interested in me so I let the idea die a quiet death inside my head."

I am not entirely sure I wanted to post that, but it felt right to send. Maybe it will feel right to talk about it.

you can come to terms and realize, you're the only one who cannot forgive yourself -Pearl Jam

Mar 06, 2003 14:07 # 9232

fallenangel *** replies...

Re: Love Letter

This post was deleted by request of the author.

"you're mighty brave in cyber-space, flame boy!"

This post was edited by fallenangel on Mar 06, 2003.

Mar 06, 2003 17:38 # 9237

khazar * replies...

Re: Love Letter

I sent it to her. I have been going out with her for five months.
I suppose that this is an anticlimactic reply, but that's the way things go sometimes.

if a guy wrote something like that about me id be VERY impressed, i dont think its going to happen though!

Present circumstances aside, I didn't really think that I would be able to write something like that to anybody, let alone have it taken seriously. There is always hope.

you can come to terms and realize, you're the only one who cannot forgive yourself -Pearl Jam

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